Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks 12-01-12

• True love is like a ghost, which everyone talks about but no one has actually seen

• It’s easy to sit there and say you’d like to have more money. And I guess that’s what I like about it. It’s easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.

• Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I’ve Been Doing Since 15

• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes

• All men are idiots….I married their king.

Proverbs

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Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks 22-11-11

• It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better

• Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time, chances are you won’t be needing him again

• As long as there are tests there will be prayer in public schools

• Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment

• I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather…not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car

Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks 11-10-11

• Women and elephants never, ever forget.

• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

• So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute!

• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

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Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks 08-09-11

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• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

• If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country

• You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.

• To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

• I’m not driving drunk I just can’t drive!

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• There’s an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.

• On the other hand, you have different fingers.

• Real Men Don’t Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair

• So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute!

• Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I’ve Been Doing Since 15

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• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

• I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.

• Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right here, in the room talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.

• No one is listening until you make a mistake.

• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

klipfiti: Humor & Irony

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• Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

• I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.

• It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.

• As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

• Real men don’t waste their hormones growing hair

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• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

• Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.

• Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.

• The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

• IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.

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• What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

• I had amnesia once — or twice.

• BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

• Enjoy life: this is not a rehearsal.

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• Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.

• Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time

• That must be wonderful! I don’t understand it at all.

• I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.

• WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Low Fat Recipes

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• You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

• Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

• Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.

• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

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• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

• When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

• Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.

• Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

• You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me

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• Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

• It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

• Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

• Gravity should not be responsible when people fall in love.

• A sharp tongue and a dull mind are usually found in the same head.

Graphic Humor

• When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

• I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

• Secrecy is the enemy of efficiency… but don’t let anyone know it.

• You’re either part of the problem, or you’re part of the Solution!

• Pardon my driving; I’m reloading.

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• Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

• My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse He Couldn’t Do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse

• EXPERIENCE – Being able to recognize your mistakes when you make them again!

• I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather…not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

• Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

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• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

• You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

• The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

• Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

• Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

• On the other hand, you have different fingers

• The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette

• Honk If You See Parts Falling Off My Car!

Low Fat Recipes

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• Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

• If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

• Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool

• There are no illegitimate children – only illegitimate parents.

• I crossed words with my wife, and she crossed several paragraphs with me.

Herbalife USA

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• It has been discovered that research causes cancer in rats

• WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship

• If you drink, don’t park; accidents cause people

• Honk if you love peace and quiet

• Half of the people in the world are below average

Low Fat Recipes

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