• When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

• I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

• Secrecy is the enemy of efficiency… but don’t let anyone know it.

• You’re either part of the problem, or you’re part of the Solution!

• Pardon my driving; I’m reloading.

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• Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

• My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse He Couldn’t Do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse

• EXPERIENCE – Being able to recognize your mistakes when you make them again!

• I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather…not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

• Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

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• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

• You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

• The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

• Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

• Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

• On the other hand, you have different fingers

• The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette

• Honk If You See Parts Falling Off My Car!

Low Fat Recipes

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• Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

• If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

• Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool

• There are no illegitimate children – only illegitimate parents.

• I crossed words with my wife, and she crossed several paragraphs with me.

Herbalife USA

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• It has been discovered that research causes cancer in rats

• WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship

• If you drink, don’t park; accidents cause people

• Honk if you love peace and quiet

• Half of the people in the world are below average

Low Fat Recipes

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